Funny and Good Comebacks and Insults You’ll Ever Hear

The spotlight of ridicule is a bad place to be -with good comebacks you can change that. Divert the attention – funny comebacks can be your sensation!

In order to get from shy to vocal, in the following list the focal point is on 15 good comebacks for shut up that will make your friends regret what they said.

Funny Comebacks

  • Hanging with you is worse than being attacked by pirates.
  • I’d like to believe that you’re a nice person, but at your core, you’re just a nucleus surrounded by a cloud of negatively charged electrons.
  • Why don’t your hypothalamus and I take this out to the bike shed.
  • Just like magnesium, your ignorance simply burns light.
  • I could eat a bowl of soup and shit a better mean insult than that!
  • You need something to neutralize your acidity.
  • I am not a nerd. I am an intellectual badass.
  • Damn it, you guys are so two-faced, you must be fighting Batman later!
  • I could agree with you, but then we would both be wrong!
  • The denser you are, the more undeniable gravity is. It makes me wonder how you aren’t crushed against the earth yet.
  • I am busy right now, can I ignore your attempt to make a joke some other time?
  • My mom can make better jokes than you! – Well, she did make you!
  • I don’t understand what you are saying. I don’t speak asshollian!
  • If I wanted to kill myself I would climb your ago and jump to your IQ.
  • I didn’t insult you. I just described you!

Once in a while it pays off to read through these notes, just in case you feel unprepared. Your mind can be your biggest foe if you don’t refresh your memory. What is more important than a good comeback is not to take for granted what other people say to you. Their words cannot summarize who you are, but in an attempt to make it more fun, make sure than you don’t fall short of the perfect punch line too.

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May you laugh and be laughed at!


As a winged guardian of simplicity with facts as my mightiest arrows, I draw inspiration from all that surrounds me: music, books, fashion and all my daily battles.